Over the last fifteen years, I have encountered numerous situations where people will pull up old communications of mine, quote me to myself, and try to pull a “gotcha moment” by showing how what I said then differs from what I am saying now. This has happened to me in enough different situations now that I felt the need to write a statement on it.

People who bring-up my words from ten years ago, two years ago, a month ago, or even a week ago for the purpose of pointing out inconsistencies (rather than seeking genuine clarification about where I stand now) fundamentally misunderstand the purpose of why I communicate. I am an extremely introverted person. If I do communicate, it is almost always for a reason – I want to ask questions and get more information, or most often, I want to express my thoughts and get feedback. In most cases, if my mind were 100% made-up, I would not be expressing myself.

The fact that what I am saying now, especially in the context of day-to-day communication or working on a project or publication or in the context of a relationship, may differ somewhat from what I said previously is not a “gotcha moment” or some omission of hypocrisy. It is evidence that I am a human, who is living and learning and engaging in communication for the purpose of getting information and feedback on ideas, decisions, and perspectives. Between the time of the communication and the present, guess what happened! I got new information, learned something, considered feedback I received, and changed my view.

This is actually the express purpose of why I work in teams and enter into relationships with people. If I were just going to do whatever I thought was best, then why would I spend my time and energy communicating with and collaborating with other people? As an introvert, it is certainly not because I enjoy collaboration as a default. Instead, I recognize that feedback and collaboration almost always make ideas better, work stronger, and my life fuller.

I feel the same way about my publications. While my publications represent a much deeper level of thought than my average day-to-day communications and thus are a better representation of what I truly feel, the purpose of why I do scholarship is to put my ideas into the arena. From there, I get feedback. Some of my ideas may resonate with other people; others might get picked apart, and I may evolve. The fact that someone picks apart my idea is not some profound intellectual or ethical failure. It is perhaps one of the major points of engaging in scholarship.

I believe my interpersonal experiences around this over the last decade point to a larger cultural dynamic. Changing your beliefs in the U.S. in 2026 is almost viewed as a Scarlet Letter. Not only is changing your ideas and beliefs not viewed as natural, it is very often viewed as a deficit or as proof that you once were not knowledgable, informed, or ethical.

However, isn’t updating our beliefs what we should be doing 24/7? Isn’t this the whole purpose of reading/listening/learning and engaging in activism/organizing/community – that we learn and grow from one another? If people are just going around trying to prove that we know more than one another and have known better for longer, is this really even activism or social change work? Or is it just about people trying to show they are better and smarter than other people?

This connects to a related point. It has become my view that too often, people engaged in health equity work or in advancing causes related to transphobia, racism, feminism, and other social and environmental topics are not doing enough to allow people to speak vulnerably and openly about these topics. Yes, it would be wonderful if everyone held the same views as the ones doing the advocacy. However, if someone does not yet agree, isn’t it better to have them expressing themselves at the table and working through their beliefs rather than secretly harboring animosity and hostile views? I am not arguing for giving space to people who just want to espouse hate, but a lot of people are in a place where they could be moved and they are not coming to the table.

Most importantly, very few people were born with the exact political and social beliefs and knowledge they have today. This includes people with marginalized backgrounds and deep lived experiences from their own lives and communities. Everybody learned from someone or something. Why can’t we be more honest about that?

I believe it is essential that we (a) normalize people saying incorrect things while they are learning and (b) not only allow but actively encourage people to update, change, and modify their beliefs. I think this points to a larger issue – is the primary purpose of engaging in social change work to hold people responsible for past behavior or is it to repair harm where needed and transform society? In my opinion, way too much time and energy is spent on a different issue – “being right”. I’m not saying being right isn’t sometimes important for repair and transformation to occur, but it should not be the primary focus.

I am not saying that changing your mind should never have any consequences. The reason we have formal organization processes, legal documents, and marriages is for the express purpose of making decisions and plans more set-in-stone when they need to be. However, even with these, people can still change their mind.

Returning to my personal experience, if you decide to quote me from a few years ago and I have not updated my views or perspectives at least a little bit, then what the heck have I been doing here on earth? Same goes for a year or even a month ago!

In an interview with Mel Robbins, Oprah Winfrey recently said:

“You always have the right to change your mind. If the people are in the church, sitting in the pews, and you’re getting ready to walk down the aisle and you know inside yourself I should not be marrying this person, you always have the right to change your mind. But the invitations have gone out! You always have the right to change your mind.”

Moving forward, I am taking this line from Oprah and making it a mantra. I always have the right to change my mind, and the fact that I do often change my mind is evidence that I am a living, engaged, and responsive human who is learning and evolving every day.

Changing your mind is not a mistake; changing your mind is a fundamental expression of being a decent person.

Let us move very far way from this culture where changing your mind is a Scarlett Letter towards a culture that normalizes changing your mind in big and small ways – regularly and most especially as we learn and grow.